I’m gonna tell you what you need to hear
And i’m a little too late
By three or four years
And it may not make much sense
Now that we are apart
But i’m going to stop pretending
That i didn’t break your heart

You see i never thought enough of myself
To realize that losing me could mean
Something like the tears in your eyes
And i want to tell you i’m sorry
And it’s too late to start
But i’m going to stop pretending
That i didn’t break your heart

And it’s christmas eve
Years down the line
Sitting here wishing i’d treated you better
When you were mine
And i have no way of knowing where you are
But i’m going to stop pretending
That i didn’t break your heart

I didn’t mean to hurt you
I didn’t know what i was doing
But i know what i have done
—-

The past is like fabric. You have to control, understand, and manipulate it before you can turn it into something beautiful. And as I stand, so close, there is a future outside drastically different than that I envisioned, and a large chunk of that has been on my mind today. Mostly because of what has taken its place, but still, I’m thinking about it.

I was right, and I know that, but still, to this day, I hate that I was.