Men of Steel
Sometimes, after a rough day….or two…or really just a bad night and a day spent being rather pensive about the whole thing, it’s rather cathartic to blow shit up. That isn’t always an option, so instead I go see movies where people blow shit up. In this instance I went to see X-Men: The Last Stand (ironic name when the main good guy’s in a wheelchair, ne?). Here are my observations from the experience.
When it comes to people who see movies based on comic books, there’s usually two predominant groups in the audience- those who came to see shit blown up and those who came to see if Jean Grey’s costume will look exactly like it did in #327. COMIC BOOK NERDS! You jort-wearing vermin! You are my arch nemesis. I don’t care about the stupid details. I don’t care how goofy the dialogue is. This isn’t a Merchant-Ivory film, it’s a popcorn flick. Enough with the banter and the inside jokes and the sitting RIGHT THE HELL NEXT TO ME, the whole gaggle of you, and please for the love of God SHUT UP. I can’t enjoy the shit getting blown up if you won’t. Stop. Talking. And a merry band of dudes outside of Sherwood Forest is pretty sketch. Go back to your LAN parties and your online girlfriends and leave me alone with my precious explosions. I have never EVER had to get up and move to a different seat in a movie theater until tonight. Vile, vile fanboys.
In further adventures of comic book films I’ll be seeing, a much much sweeter Superman trailer ran with my X3 screening and OH MAN NO ONE TOLD ME ABOUT THE GLASSES. Brandon Routh….I must say….il est plus beau avec ses lunettes! The glasses! The suit! THE FLOPPY HAIR! SIGH! Can I just speed through the caped crusader to get to Clark Kent? Anyone? Bueller?
I was waffley about this movie until I finally got to see crazy-ass Kevin Spacey as Lex Luthor and since Spacey is my homeboy (now THERE’S a shirt idea) and he appears to be just as awesome as he ever is, I’ll be trotting down to the theater to go see him despite my hatred towards Kate Bosworth. I love Kevin Spacey. And Kal Penn. And delightful Mr. Routh.
Eva Mendes- You are beautiful. You are funny. I love you. That being said, GHOST RIDER?!?!? NICOLAS CAGE?!?! WHY!?!?!?!?
Brandon, darling Brandon, I want you to know that Cameron Bright is in X3. Six degrees just got eight bajillion times easier.
X3= met with a resounding eh. And it’s mostly the acting and writing, which surprises me because I figured Ratner would ruin it. Nope! It’s just a dumb, dumb movie. But shit gets blown up. And that is AWESOME.
May 29th, 2006 at 5:07 pm
Your anti-nerd diatribe jibes with how I feel on the matter so well that it’s almost scary. (It’s also freaking hilarious.) :0)
May 30th, 2006 at 3:42 pm
I hear you, Lauren! Regan and I needed to see some sh*t get blown up after an insane weekend of wedding-planning with our parents! Luckily, Regan isn’t a comic book nerd so much as a cartoon nerd. I took him to the Alamo Drafthouse to see a movie for the first time (he’s been to the Sinus Show, just not to a regular movie experience). They were showing OLD X-Men cartoons just before the movie. The X-Men cartoons were some of his favorite growing up and he was like, “OMG! The old ones! This answers so many of the questions I had while watching the newer ones when I was little!”
Questions? What questions? They were just blowing animated sh*t up!!
“If I could find these on DVD, I would totally rent them.”
I bet he would totally register for them if I could find them at Target.