Oodleday

Steve: omg Lily totally outpunned me
Lauren: she’s pretty good but I outpunned her yesterday
Steve: ooh
Steve: yeah you trump me like Donald
Lauren: yeah I’m rich in smarts like a chocolate cake
Lauren: you just wanna be me we should call you easy-bake
Steve: whatever I’m for real and you’re a fake
Steve: you can’t even count how much money I make
Lauren: nuh uh you’re rump roast and I’m a porterhouse steak
Lauren: you only score when I give you a break
Steve: whatever I’m like Zarathrustra, just because thus I spake
Lauren: you’re just another body to leave in my wake
Steve: bitch you’re like sideshow bob surrounded by rakes
Lauren: oh are you saying it’s like a space oddysey
Lauren: trying to be a fraction as hot as me?
Lauren: wtf rakes what the hell do you mean, I’m like Mr. T and the whole A Team
Steve: a team psh, you couldn’t even make the c team
Steve: I just say it how it is you know I won’t be mean
Lauren: tonight your rhymes are slow, s-l-o-dubya
Lauren: you make it so easy for me to one-up ya
Steve: whatever I’m also doing work, that’s right, like a Turk
Steve: so won’t you lay off a bit, you know you’re quite a jerk
Lauren: whatever I thought your project was due
Steve: no, it’s homework and you know I’ll rue
Steve: the day I decided to put it off so late
Steve: but that’s what happens, as a student I’m second rate
Lauren: well I guess now you sealed your fate
Lauren: you might as well stand up and congratulate
Lauren: the rap flow queen if you know what I mean
Lauren: you’re like gingivitis and I’m Listerine
Steve: well you better get out your clock cause I’m about to clean
Steve: that’s right, I’m like a clock cleaning machine
Steve: I’ll crush you just like I’m trash compaction
Steve: it’s a chain reaction; man you wish you got some of that action
Lauren: better shut up fore I put you in traction
Lauren: you took so long to rap Hector went off to sleep
Lauren: if you were a fridge my food wouldn’t keep
Steve: well that just means your machine ain’t leet
Steve: you need to use a pc, so you can ctrl-alt-delete
Lauren: man pc laptops are so obsolete
Lauren: you’re just jealous cuz my laptop’s so sweet
Steve: so sweet? Whatever you know you just ain’t discreet
Lauren: now I have hector and my gadgets are complete
Steve: and you hop around computers like you’ll use the whole fleet
Steve: yeah that’s right I’m dissing you like wo
Steve: when it comes to computers you’re a 2-cent ho
Lauren: whatever shake your head I want a cone of snow
Lauren: you know you can’t even touch this flow
Lauren: if my life were Hook I’d be playing Rufio
Lauren: before I met you I thought only hurricanes blow
Steve: whatever you better go run to your mommy
Steve: I’ll sweep over you like the Asian tsunami
Steve: hurricane? What’s that, I eat them for lunch
Steve: that’s right I eat them and they make a nice crunch
Lauren: whatever I’m hypercritical like my name’s Phillip Wuntch
Steve: yeah that’s just because you know your rhymes pack no punch
Lauren: whatev in 2nd grade I’d call you buttmunch
Lauren: you haven’t had game since we watched the Brady bunch
Lauren: you’re like black and white to my plasma screen
Lauren: Technicolor skills like you know what I mean
Lauren: raps so obscene it’s like a bad dream
Lauren: I think you’re about 10 pages short of a ream
Steve: whatever I’m gonna make like Wes Craven because you’re gonna scream
Lauren: I thought back at dinner how you kinda smelled funky
Lauren: then I remembered how you can look like a monkey
Lauren: when you sing, it’s the funniest thing
Steve: yeah because my voice collects all the bling
Steve: you know you’re a pulse dial and I’m a polyphonic ring
Lauren: Carl has shut me up b/c we can’t stop laughing
Steve: except I look around at church and you’re so sad to see
Steve: because you act just like a Pharisee or Sadducee
Steve: you’re down there just wishing that you were me
Steve: that’s right, you’ve got a regular strategy
Lauren: whatever I’ve never heard such blasphemy
Lauren: you’re the one wishing you could pass for me
Lauren: but you’d need a couple inches on the top of your head
Lauren: and I hate to say it but you can’t pull off red
Steve: whatever you’re the reason why your high school had SPED
Lauren: Sexy, Powerful, Elegant, “DAAAMN”?
Lauren: Yeah I would say that sums up who I am
Lauren: if you meant I was “special” I have news for you man
Lauren: you’re the mental equivalent of thalidomide hands
Steve: ha, I’m a firm foundation and you’re shifting sands
Steve: and there’s nothing more hyperactive than your plentiful sweat glands
Lauren: wow it took you like an hour to say that
Lauren: I might have to get a time machine and go back
Steve: bitch please, you know that I’m quick like Chow Yun Fat
Lauren: I forgot what we’re dong, are you trying to rap
Lauren: b/c what I’m hearing is blah blah blah crap
Lauren: brb I think I’ll get some applesauce
Lauren: but you won’t come up with anything good, so it’s not a loss
Steve: what are you doing? I think you’re thinking about rapping
Steve: but I’m doing homework it’s like I’m multitasking
Steve: you care to help me answer this network problem about cycles?
Lauren: um ho there’s a reason I do ads
Steve: although it wouldn’t help much, your mind is plastic like Michael’s
Lauren: my skills with numbers are really quite sad
Lauren: but I pay no mind cuz my vocab is great
Lauren: my SAT was only 40 short of 8
Lauren: hundred I mean, I’m the vocabulary queen
Lauren: you’re about as useless aS rat poison minus strychnine
Lauren: man I can’t wait for our p-dinner
Lauren: so much for everyone wanting to be thinner
Steve: whatever you just want to be a winner
Steve: you think you’re Karl Rove, but you’re no master spinner
Lauren: um news flash Karl Rove is a douche
Lauren: letting all that secret info loose
Lauren: a fat cat conservative’s not too high on my list
Lauren: that might be a characteristic of mine that you missed
Steve: whatever you know that you secretly want to marry Bill Frist
Steve: but you know that you can’t so you just stew and get pissed
Steve: that’s right bitch you just got meth0dissed
Lauren: I’d rather choke slowly on my own fist
Lauren: and um I believed I painted you lame like I’m an artist
Lauren: I’ve eviscerated you in case you haven’t noticed
Steve: artist? You only wish you were smartest
Steve: the only superlative that describes you is retardest
Lauren: um I’m sorry are you saying you’re smart?
Lauren: I’ve seen cooler pieces in plus sizes at Wal-Mart
Lauren: me and Halie saw this shirt so bad it gave off a smell
Lauren: I’d say that comparison would suit you quite well
Steve: Wal-Mart? More like wal-fart, that’s right, it came straight from hell
Steve: and hell is one place that you should know well
Steve: you see a picture it rings a bell
Lauren: um if by hell you mean Tyler
Lauren: then you’re right, I left, and now I’m a smiler
Lauren: let’s not forget that I go to heaven when I see my LJ one day out of seven
Steve: well that’s cause your life is boring like bread without leaven
Lauren: feeling all awkward like I was eleven
Lauren: um what’s a leaven? I think you mean yeast
Lauren: yeah when it comes to brilliance I’m a beast
Lauren: clearly I fought you for more than my share and you know I’m a badass so bitch don’t go there
Steve: if by beast you mean least, well you’re the high priest
Steve: so for the sake of my peace why don’t you desist and cease?
Lauren: are you saying I’m bugging? Then I guess I’ll leave
Lauren: you’re looking real beat, poor baby Steve
Steve: yes I am because I’ve been working all day
Steve: I don’t even know what else I must say
Lauren: how about “LP you’re a rock star” mmkay?
Lauren: I tried to out rap you but there’s just no way
Steve: mmkay? Why you saying that, do you think that you’re gay?
Steve: well you know I’m pursued by both fags and bitches, cuz my life is rags to riches
Steve: that’s right, you know I’m downright rapalicious
Lauren: um I’m sorry did you just use fags?
Lauren: you should cover your face; here let me give you some bags
Lauren: you know that word blows, and you know blowing well
Lauren: oops I said a secret! Shhh nobody tell! ;o)
Steve: well my rhymes mesmerize you like a magic spell
Steve: you’re just like matchbox 20 because you’re quite unwell
Lauren: nuh uh you’re so helpless, Steve’s stuck in a well
Steve: repeating rhymes? Bitch you know that road leads straight to hell
Lauren: um speaking of which you’re a big hypocrite
Lauren: we went through that hell rhyme, we’ve done that whole bit
Lauren: now I’m done with it
Lauren: so think up some new shit
Lauren: homework’s no reason to get in a snit
Lauren: (God I’m so sick of the Family Guy, my exes all liked it, I never knew why)
Lauren: I just saw a Casino Cinema ad
Lauren: compared to your raps it wasn’t that bad
Lauren: now while you’re sitting like a bump on a log
Lauren: I’m posting all these fly lines on my blog
Steve: whatever these rhymes make me look all retarded
Steve: you know I’m distracted, don’t even get me started
Lauren: boo hoo hoo, poor grad student
Lauren: some would say doing it earlier would’ve been prudent
Lauren: I have 2 exams tomorrow and you don’t see me whining
Lauren: I have more mental skills than the kid in the Shining
Steve: well for now that’s all that I care to talk about
Steve: so that’s all I gotta say, that’s it, now I’m out
Lauren: alright, goodnight Gracie, I’m ready to post
Lauren: we’ll rap again later but this time you’re toast
Lauren: …bitch

September 29th, 2005 | Category: Daily | Subscribe to comments | Leave a comment | Trackback URL